Four Lions, Two Parties and a Squatter in Number 10

Well the election was a laugh wasn't it?

I voted and was disappointed that my choice didn't win (no, I'm not Labour or Conservative), but I still got a perverse rush of pleasure when no one party had won outright. Of course the money men started to panic immediately, the pound fell, the stock market when tits up for the weekend etc etc etc. Yet somehow, amazingly...the world kept on turning. Okay, Greece is buggered, but that's mainly because most of their residents haven't been paying tax for decades and hiding their money under the bedsheets. We're kind of buggered too, but even though we don't have a government I still see people going to work and generally getting on with life. Apart from the tits in Westminster and stock tarts in Canary Wharf I haven't really noticed anyone else worrying a great deal about who's going to end up in charge. And as far as I know, not many of us have been hiding our money under the bed.

As I write this some kind of power sharing deal is being discussed between the Conservatives and the Liberals. That squatter in Number Ten is also talking to 'The Man Who Would Be Clegg' to see if he can get something out of the farce. What none of them seem to realise is that we all think they're twats and would quite happily see them talk themselves to death. It would save us the boredom of having to listen to them squabble like teenagers in a playground.

We opened the cinema early last Thursday whilst the polls were open. I figured we might be able to make a bit of extra money from all the schools being closed for polling. As it turned out we didn't get too many kids. Iron Man 2 was a bit shit as it turned out and all our other films required thinking. Most of our customers were over 50 and more interested in watching a film than talking about politics. Quite right too.

In any case, I'm sure you'll agree that this mess will be sorted out soon enough and we can all get back to the daily routine that our lives end up becoming. As for me, I'm breaking with routine for a bit and taking some time off work to consider my options. Who knows, I might opt for a new career in politics. I couldn't be any worse then the lot we've allowed to squat in Westminster for the past decade.

At least, I don't think I could be....