Valentine's Day Massacre

Valentine's day.

What is it good for? Selling awful cards, sickly chocolates, disposable gifts and generally making single people miserable. Valentine's day is about selling disposable love. It's not real, it doesn't last and yet so many people buy into it. Why? Because deep down we all want to be loved.

Cinema is no exception to any of this. It wants to be loved and is willing to buy into the falseness of Valentine's day to get noticed. No stranger to capitalising on people's fragility, Hollywood has surpassed itself this year and actually made a film simply called 'Valentine's Day'. It is released this Friday two days before February 14th and you can be guaranteed the cinema will be filled with dozens if not tens of dozens of couples come to immerse themselves in the cloyness of Valentine's Day and generally piss off anyone who isn't with someone.

You may think I'm saying this because I'm bitter and twisted. 99% of the time you'd be right - I am quite bitter and twisted. But I'm also honest. I and my girlfriend despise Valentine's Day. She hates it because she sees it as another shameless gimmick designed to make people spend money. I hate it because I remember exactly how alone I felt every Valentine's Day for years. I would see the same couples who are going to come to the cinema this Friday, exchanging flowers, cards and chocolates and generally going all soppy over one another. These same couples would split up about a week to a month later. If you're feeling sick right now, don't worry - it's a normal reaction to how pathetic Valentine's Day actually is.

I am certain there are some people who think Valentine's Day is a wonderful and lovely holiday. If you are one of those people, then all the best to you. However I must remind you of one thing; if the person you want to shower with affection is so special, why wait to Valentine's Day to make them feel special? Why not do it today? And while you're at it, come to the cinema on another day when there's a better film out. I can reccommend 'Kick Ass!' which comes out in April and is guaranteed to raise a smile on the most hardened cynic.

Personally my overall assessment of February 14th is this - It's shit. So do yourself a favour - Fuck Valentine's Day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plan a surprise for my girlfriend in April. A romantic (and hopefully dirty!) weekend away. Now that's love...snoogins!