They are feral creatures.
They push and claw at you if you get in their way. You are nothing to them. Less than nothing as they leave you broken on the floor and tread over you to get the last bag of potatoes.
They are the last minute shoppers.
Truly terrifying people I have to say. I got kicked, shoved and somehow my feet were run over by a trolley when I was in Sainsbury's trying to pick up a few ingredients for Christmas dinner on the 25th. It never ceases to amaze me the sheer lunacy on these shopper's faces as they prowl the aisles hunting for things they neither want or need. At least I had a list!
There was one point where a mum was moving past several other trolley's with her hellspawn....sorry, 'children' in tow. Whilst the kids were screaming at their mum to buy them rolo yoghurts, I actually heard her tell them to 'shut the fuck up!' Funny. She looked normal enough. Not a mark of burberry or tracksuit in sight. She was wearing nice normal mumish clothes. Her hair was tied into a neat ponytail and she had a sensible dark green winter coat on. Basically I had just heard what I thought was a nice normal mum swear horribly at her children. Okay, I might have agreed with her sentiment, but I was forced to wonder if these parents are the reason so many kids walk around with a bad attitude and knives hidden in their jackets?
The spirit of Christmas runs deep.
In any case, I hurried out and made my way home as soon as possible to try and remember that Christmas could be joyful and bright and less sweary.
Ho Ho Ho!
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
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Favourite Films
- About Schmidt - "Jeanie might be a little past her prime, but I still think she could have done a lot better!"
- Frost/Nixon - "I'm saying if the President does it, that makes it legal!"
- Ghostbusters - "You don't generally see that kind of behaviour in a house hold appliance."
- Aliens - "Game over man!"
- Terminator 2 Judgement Day - "Why do you cry?"
- Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan - "Aren't you dead?"
- Run Lola Run - "I fucked up Lola!"
- Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix - "I must just have missed it, but by a happy coincidence I arrived at the ministry an hour early"
- Goldeneye - "How original!"
- The Fifth Element - "Anybody else want to negotiate?"
- The Royal Tenenbaums - "Eli just ran his car into our house."
- Kill Bill - "Blonde bitch!"
- Kung Fu Hustle - "Hey fatso. How about you?"
- The Incredibles - "We look like criminals Bob! Inept criminals!"
- Spiderman - "I hunch."
- Dirty Harry - "I see a guy chasing a woman screaming, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy."
- Gran Torino - "Get off my lawn!"
- The Bourne Identity - "How can I know all of that and not know who I am?"
- Dodgeball - "If you can dodge traffic you can dodge balls!"
- The Jungle Book - "Man village? They'll ruin him. They'll make a man out of him!"
- Role Models - "Kiss are great! All their songs are about fucking!"
- Up - "So long suckers!"
- All About Eve - "Eve, Eve, Eve!"
- The Usual Suspects - "Have you ever tried to shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?"
- Star Trek - "Space, the final frontier..."
- American Beauty - "I think your parents haven't had sex in a long time!"
- Coraline - "It's Coraline, not Caroline!"
- Gladiator - "Strength and Honour"
Reading, writing
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