What is inception?
A similar question was asked at the start of so many reviews eleven years ago about another film - 'The Matrix'. Unlike 'The Matrix' though 'Inception' is a lot more believable. The core premise is that humanity has developed technology and drugs capable of allowing people to share dreams and enter each other's consciousness.
To tell you more about the plot would be to give too much away. But contrary to what you may have read in the papers and general public opinion, the film is not hard to follow. In fact it's quite a simple story - man takes one last job to get home to his children. It made me laugh when people came out from the cinema scratching their heads and complaining that the story was too hard to follow. Were they watching the same film as me?
It's true that if you do walk out to go to the toilet you may miss some important exposition...but that's the same of a lot of films. Inception is well worth watching. But don't let the gushing reviews and people scratching their heads fool you. The film is a lot simpler to understand then they would have you believe.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Everything is changing...
Again it's been a while since I posted on this blog and for that I am sorry. However strange and ridiculous things have been happening in the world of cinema...well my cinema anyway.
In the past month 8 General Managers have left the company. All in London. All willingly. There are now 8 vacancies open for any chump foolish enough to apply for them. My boss - who looks like Shrek but without the humour - solidified my decision to leave the cinema business entirely when he called me last Thursday in response to an email I'd sent him the week before. I had been thinking of going for a while now and to perhaps try one more glimmer at hope, I naively believed that maybe the company still wanted me. I mean why wouldn't they? I've exceeded all the targets set me and trained and developed nearly four managers over the past year and a half.
Clearly I was wrong.
He told me that I should think long and hard about applying for the new positions and that if I did apply my salary wouldn't be increased. In fact I might have to take a pay decrease. I thanked him for letting me know about the information and hung up the phone shortly thereafter. I wasn't surprised, but actually hearing that you're no longer of any value to a job you really used to enjoy doing stunned me into silence......for about ten minutes and then I went to get pissed in the pub.
I have bigger fish to fry to be honest, and even if it takes me a while to escape, I'm going to try and stay content in the knowledge that I will be escaping to something better and something that reflects the value I know I have.
It's been a tough year for everyone I know and my problems are tiny compared to some of my friends and family. So instead of moaning in this blog, I have decided to keep you updated with my escape progress as well as regular accounts of the comings and goings at the cinema and what films you should be watching. My love of film remains as strong as ever! I've been applying for new jobs for about four months now and in the current climate it might take me a while to sort myself out. But I will. And hopefully keep you entertained in the interim!
In the past month 8 General Managers have left the company. All in London. All willingly. There are now 8 vacancies open for any chump foolish enough to apply for them. My boss - who looks like Shrek but without the humour - solidified my decision to leave the cinema business entirely when he called me last Thursday in response to an email I'd sent him the week before. I had been thinking of going for a while now and to perhaps try one more glimmer at hope, I naively believed that maybe the company still wanted me. I mean why wouldn't they? I've exceeded all the targets set me and trained and developed nearly four managers over the past year and a half.
Clearly I was wrong.
He told me that I should think long and hard about applying for the new positions and that if I did apply my salary wouldn't be increased. In fact I might have to take a pay decrease. I thanked him for letting me know about the information and hung up the phone shortly thereafter. I wasn't surprised, but actually hearing that you're no longer of any value to a job you really used to enjoy doing stunned me into silence......for about ten minutes and then I went to get pissed in the pub.
I have bigger fish to fry to be honest, and even if it takes me a while to escape, I'm going to try and stay content in the knowledge that I will be escaping to something better and something that reflects the value I know I have.
It's been a tough year for everyone I know and my problems are tiny compared to some of my friends and family. So instead of moaning in this blog, I have decided to keep you updated with my escape progress as well as regular accounts of the comings and goings at the cinema and what films you should be watching. My love of film remains as strong as ever! I've been applying for new jobs for about four months now and in the current climate it might take me a while to sort myself out. But I will. And hopefully keep you entertained in the interim!
Thursday, 1 July 2010
All Change Please
It has been a busy month. Too much to fit into one blog entry.
So a recap on the last month:
1. England proved just how poor they are at national football tournaments by crashing out of the World Cup
2. Two of my friends have had enough of their job and quit
3. I have had enough of my job and am seriously considering quitting
4. I have started studying a course part time
5. I am desperately looking for a new job to support myself and get out of the hell hole I'm currently in
6. I am very tired
7. The latest series of Doctor Who ended in a very quiet and wonderfully character driven way.
I'll be back with more updates soon.
So a recap on the last month:
1. England proved just how poor they are at national football tournaments by crashing out of the World Cup
2. Two of my friends have had enough of their job and quit
3. I have had enough of my job and am seriously considering quitting
4. I have started studying a course part time
5. I am desperately looking for a new job to support myself and get out of the hell hole I'm currently in
6. I am very tired
7. The latest series of Doctor Who ended in a very quiet and wonderfully character driven way.
I'll be back with more updates soon.
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Sex And The Cinema
On average roughly 8.5 people are having sex in a cinema within the M25 and London a day. If I've got my maths right, that works out to about four couples copping off in the back row and one couple having a very heavy petting session or possibly just a blow job in the toilets.
Apologies for being so crass, but these things actually happen in cinema. Not every cinema mind you. The multiplexes that have a core chav audience are more susceptible to squelchy moans in a screen then say a traditional old high street cinema. Why? Well two reasons really.
1. High street cinemas are more likely to have more ushers/attendants monitoring the screens than the multiplexes due to layout and levels. On a multiplex layout it's easier to nip into a screen for a discreet shag as there is rarely more than one person monitoring the screens unless the cinema is very busy.
2. Chavs have a tendency to want to squelch in public places. This may have to do with their lack of brain cells and similarities in looks to Vicky Pollard.
During my time as a manager I've caught numerous couples 'getting it on' in the cinema the most recent being a pair of twenty somethings who gave the words 'disabled access' a whole new meaning. I'll let you imagine what we caught them doing. Personally I've been trying not to think about it. What is most interesting is that this couple were caught during the opening weekend of Sex and The City 2. The things they were doing make the film and series look like bawdy Carry on Films. And to be honest, from what I've heard from my team, the shagging couple provided more entertainment then the film ever could. (Apparently Sex and the City 2 is a bit shit).
So watch out when you next come to the cinema. If there are couples about in the screens or heading towards the toilets, you might want to keep a safe distance. You never know when someone's going to squelch.
Apologies for being so crass, but these things actually happen in cinema. Not every cinema mind you. The multiplexes that have a core chav audience are more susceptible to squelchy moans in a screen then say a traditional old high street cinema. Why? Well two reasons really.
1. High street cinemas are more likely to have more ushers/attendants monitoring the screens than the multiplexes due to layout and levels. On a multiplex layout it's easier to nip into a screen for a discreet shag as there is rarely more than one person monitoring the screens unless the cinema is very busy.
2. Chavs have a tendency to want to squelch in public places. This may have to do with their lack of brain cells and similarities in looks to Vicky Pollard.
During my time as a manager I've caught numerous couples 'getting it on' in the cinema the most recent being a pair of twenty somethings who gave the words 'disabled access' a whole new meaning. I'll let you imagine what we caught them doing. Personally I've been trying not to think about it. What is most interesting is that this couple were caught during the opening weekend of Sex and The City 2. The things they were doing make the film and series look like bawdy Carry on Films. And to be honest, from what I've heard from my team, the shagging couple provided more entertainment then the film ever could. (Apparently Sex and the City 2 is a bit shit).
So watch out when you next come to the cinema. If there are couples about in the screens or heading towards the toilets, you might want to keep a safe distance. You never know when someone's going to squelch.
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Marmite
It's amazing how divisive films can be on people's opinions. Despite good reviews and positive feedback half the people who watched 'Four Lions' (a darkly comedic tale of four wannabee extremist suicide bombers) hated it. I know of several friends - including one who follows this blog - who didn't like the film, whilst simultaneously knowing several people who loved it.
I thought the film was hilarious and quietly tragic myself. So my initial reaction to two people hating the film was 'Jesus! Have they had a sense of humour bypass?'. However after thinking about their reactions a bit more I remembered something that my Dad told me a long time ago. 'Son, the world would be a truly dull lump of rock if everyone was the same and liked the same things.' Good 'ol Dad! He's usually right about a lot of things...except Red Chillies from South America. Those things will actually kill you Dad.
Another friend of mine who saw 'Four Lions' described it as 'Marmite' - you either hate it or love it. So far I think he's right. He hated it. I loved it....the film, not the Marmite. Although come to think of it, I think he hates Marmite as well (guess how I feel about it..). Anyway isn't that the great thing about films, books and pretty much every piece of creative art and food that human beings have ever produced? If we all liked the same things life would be pretty dull.
So I have decided to be a grown up and not berate two of my friends for having a different opinion to my own regarding 'Four Lions'.
Even though the film was great and they are clearly wrong.
I thought the film was hilarious and quietly tragic myself. So my initial reaction to two people hating the film was 'Jesus! Have they had a sense of humour bypass?'. However after thinking about their reactions a bit more I remembered something that my Dad told me a long time ago. 'Son, the world would be a truly dull lump of rock if everyone was the same and liked the same things.' Good 'ol Dad! He's usually right about a lot of things...except Red Chillies from South America. Those things will actually kill you Dad.
Another friend of mine who saw 'Four Lions' described it as 'Marmite' - you either hate it or love it. So far I think he's right. He hated it. I loved it....the film, not the Marmite. Although come to think of it, I think he hates Marmite as well (guess how I feel about it..). Anyway isn't that the great thing about films, books and pretty much every piece of creative art and food that human beings have ever produced? If we all liked the same things life would be pretty dull.
So I have decided to be a grown up and not berate two of my friends for having a different opinion to my own regarding 'Four Lions'.
Even though the film was great and they are clearly wrong.
Monday, 10 May 2010
Four Lions, Two Parties and a Squatter in Number 10
Well the election was a laugh wasn't it?
I voted and was disappointed that my choice didn't win (no, I'm not Labour or Conservative), but I still got a perverse rush of pleasure when no one party had won outright. Of course the money men started to panic immediately, the pound fell, the stock market when tits up for the weekend etc etc etc. Yet somehow, amazingly...the world kept on turning. Okay, Greece is buggered, but that's mainly because most of their residents haven't been paying tax for decades and hiding their money under the bedsheets. We're kind of buggered too, but even though we don't have a government I still see people going to work and generally getting on with life. Apart from the tits in Westminster and stock tarts in Canary Wharf I haven't really noticed anyone else worrying a great deal about who's going to end up in charge. And as far as I know, not many of us have been hiding our money under the bed.
As I write this some kind of power sharing deal is being discussed between the Conservatives and the Liberals. That squatter in Number Ten is also talking to 'The Man Who Would Be Clegg' to see if he can get something out of the farce. What none of them seem to realise is that we all think they're twats and would quite happily see them talk themselves to death. It would save us the boredom of having to listen to them squabble like teenagers in a playground.
We opened the cinema early last Thursday whilst the polls were open. I figured we might be able to make a bit of extra money from all the schools being closed for polling. As it turned out we didn't get too many kids. Iron Man 2 was a bit shit as it turned out and all our other films required thinking. Most of our customers were over 50 and more interested in watching a film than talking about politics. Quite right too.
In any case, I'm sure you'll agree that this mess will be sorted out soon enough and we can all get back to the daily routine that our lives end up becoming. As for me, I'm breaking with routine for a bit and taking some time off work to consider my options. Who knows, I might opt for a new career in politics. I couldn't be any worse then the lot we've allowed to squat in Westminster for the past decade.
At least, I don't think I could be....
I voted and was disappointed that my choice didn't win (no, I'm not Labour or Conservative), but I still got a perverse rush of pleasure when no one party had won outright. Of course the money men started to panic immediately, the pound fell, the stock market when tits up for the weekend etc etc etc. Yet somehow, amazingly...the world kept on turning. Okay, Greece is buggered, but that's mainly because most of their residents haven't been paying tax for decades and hiding their money under the bedsheets. We're kind of buggered too, but even though we don't have a government I still see people going to work and generally getting on with life. Apart from the tits in Westminster and stock tarts in Canary Wharf I haven't really noticed anyone else worrying a great deal about who's going to end up in charge. And as far as I know, not many of us have been hiding our money under the bed.
As I write this some kind of power sharing deal is being discussed between the Conservatives and the Liberals. That squatter in Number Ten is also talking to 'The Man Who Would Be Clegg' to see if he can get something out of the farce. What none of them seem to realise is that we all think they're twats and would quite happily see them talk themselves to death. It would save us the boredom of having to listen to them squabble like teenagers in a playground.
We opened the cinema early last Thursday whilst the polls were open. I figured we might be able to make a bit of extra money from all the schools being closed for polling. As it turned out we didn't get too many kids. Iron Man 2 was a bit shit as it turned out and all our other films required thinking. Most of our customers were over 50 and more interested in watching a film than talking about politics. Quite right too.
In any case, I'm sure you'll agree that this mess will be sorted out soon enough and we can all get back to the daily routine that our lives end up becoming. As for me, I'm breaking with routine for a bit and taking some time off work to consider my options. Who knows, I might opt for a new career in politics. I couldn't be any worse then the lot we've allowed to squat in Westminster for the past decade.
At least, I don't think I could be....
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Whip It Strip It Kick It!
The only thing more interesting then work is not working. So that just about includes everything else.
It's been quite a few weeks since I posted and boy just look at what's happened in that time!
General Election announced,
Volcano related travel mishaps,
Gordon Brown and David Cameron being exposed as twats on national television,
Various people I know made redundant,
Various people I know getting sick,
Random biscuit related problems, etc etc etc
The sun has started to shine and politicians are out in their droves trying to win our vote for May 6th. When the sun shines it also means less business for the cinema. Easter was quite busy and despite the weather getting better, people were still coming in their droves to watch Avatard and Alice in Dunderland. There weren't many too new films about...unless you count Clash of the Titans and How to Train Your Dragon in 3D, which I didn't.
The only good film I did see recently was 'Whip It' - a film about Roller Derby girls. Surprisingly funny and good and I would recommend watching it.
I'll be in touch soon.
It's been quite a few weeks since I posted and boy just look at what's happened in that time!
General Election announced,
Volcano related travel mishaps,
Gordon Brown and David Cameron being exposed as twats on national television,
Various people I know made redundant,
Various people I know getting sick,
Random biscuit related problems, etc etc etc
The sun has started to shine and politicians are out in their droves trying to win our vote for May 6th. When the sun shines it also means less business for the cinema. Easter was quite busy and despite the weather getting better, people were still coming in their droves to watch Avatard and Alice in Dunderland. There weren't many too new films about...unless you count Clash of the Titans and How to Train Your Dragon in 3D, which I didn't.
The only good film I did see recently was 'Whip It' - a film about Roller Derby girls. Surprisingly funny and good and I would recommend watching it.
I'll be in touch soon.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Good Night and Good Luck...
It's been an entertaining few weeks in cinema. Alice In Wonderland turned out to be not that good after all that fuss, Green Zone was actually all right, Kick Ass is hilarious and I was demoted at work. That last bit doesn't really bother me as much I thought it would.
My company has become completely disinterested in cinema and solely focused on 'cost cutting'. Which to be honest is something a lot of companies are focused on at the moment. It is a bitter pill to swallow but it just means I have no incentive to show any loyalty or give a shit. So I'm on the hunt for new prospects.
There really isn't much else to say except 'watch this space' because I hope to be doing something more wonderful and interesting over the next year or so.
My company has become completely disinterested in cinema and solely focused on 'cost cutting'. Which to be honest is something a lot of companies are focused on at the moment. It is a bitter pill to swallow but it just means I have no incentive to show any loyalty or give a shit. So I'm on the hunt for new prospects.
There really isn't much else to say except 'watch this space' because I hope to be doing something more wonderful and interesting over the next year or so.
Sunday, 14 March 2010
www.whatthehellisgoingon.com
I'm a step behind when it comes to keeping up with technology. Despite the fact that the internet is now 20 years old I am only now going to attempt to build a website.
Perhaps in another 20 years I'll be an internet king! Possible...albeit a bit unlikely.
The first thing I have to do is buy a domain name apparently. Then the next thing I have to do is figure out how to build the site and make it look good enough for people not to click off in disgust....this is really boring to read about isn't it?
Okay how about some cinema gossip then?
I'm not looking forward to the prospect of going into the cinema this week for several reasons.
1. I have to finish up the investigations into the Senior Technician not doing his job and hold a meeting with him whereby he'll come up with a number of increasingly ridiculous excuses as to why he's a lazy fuck. If he annoys me too much I think I'm just going to knock him out.
2. Another day, another bunch of lies from the senior management. I and my colleagues around London have been summoned to a meeting up north this week where the company plans to 'reveal it's exciting new direction and changes '. Considering we only have a budget up till June this year I assume this means that we're on the verge of being sold.
I am close to quitting due to being fed up and having all my resources that enable me to do my job being taken away. I've been lied to so many times the last year by my company that I don't want to work for them anymore. The only thing that's stopping me from leaving is fear. Just the fear of being unemployed in the current climate. I need to live at the end of the day.
But it's not all bad. There are people in a far worse situation then me so I shouldn't moan. I know I can get something else. I just need to work at it.
Once I know how to build this website malarky that will help a great deal. And before you ask, no it's not porn.
Perhaps in another 20 years I'll be an internet king! Possible...albeit a bit unlikely.
The first thing I have to do is buy a domain name apparently. Then the next thing I have to do is figure out how to build the site and make it look good enough for people not to click off in disgust....this is really boring to read about isn't it?
Okay how about some cinema gossip then?
I'm not looking forward to the prospect of going into the cinema this week for several reasons.
1. I have to finish up the investigations into the Senior Technician not doing his job and hold a meeting with him whereby he'll come up with a number of increasingly ridiculous excuses as to why he's a lazy fuck. If he annoys me too much I think I'm just going to knock him out.
2. Another day, another bunch of lies from the senior management. I and my colleagues around London have been summoned to a meeting up north this week where the company plans to 'reveal it's exciting new direction and changes '. Considering we only have a budget up till June this year I assume this means that we're on the verge of being sold.
I am close to quitting due to being fed up and having all my resources that enable me to do my job being taken away. I've been lied to so many times the last year by my company that I don't want to work for them anymore. The only thing that's stopping me from leaving is fear. Just the fear of being unemployed in the current climate. I need to live at the end of the day.
But it's not all bad. There are people in a far worse situation then me so I shouldn't moan. I know I can get something else. I just need to work at it.
Once I know how to build this website malarky that will help a great deal. And before you ask, no it's not porn.
Monday, 8 March 2010
Springtime for the Mad Hatter
I've been absent for a few weeks on this blog so for those of you who dip in to take a read I apologise.
It's been an interesting and entertaining few weeks in cinema land. Following a very public fracas over 'Alice In Wonderland' all the major exhibitors have bent over to Disney's demands and decided that actually it would be a good idea to play the film. My company fed us some nonsense over a mutually beneficial acceptable commercial agreement being reached with Disney. What actually happened is that the investors stepped in and ordered them to settle as we were going to potentially lose out on a lot of money. My colleagues and I have become so used to our senior management lying to us that we don't believe anything they say anymore.
In other news I've had a variety of people issues crop at work including a Senior Projectionist trying to pretend his back hurts so he can't come to work. I pursued him through his GP and have gotten his permission to gain full access to his medical reports as I know he's a lying son of a bitch. The same projectionist has also led one of the younger projectionist's astray and managed to get the younger one suspended for potential gross misconduct. I'll be dealing with that kettle of very smelly fish later on today.
To make things more interesting I also recently had a Team Member come and inform me that she'd just had an abortion and if she felt a bit dizzy we weren't to worry as it was perfectly normal. We had to call an ambulance for her later on that day as she'd passed out. I then found out that it was another Team Member who had managed to get her pregnant in the first place. Kid's these days. Do any of them know what a condom is for fuck's sake?
At least Cameron didn't win an Oscar for Avatard. Possibly the most over hyped film I have ever seen. Watching it felt like having sex with a beautiful person and then finding out they're crap in bed.
Anyway, off to work and see if I have a new boss yet.
It's been an interesting and entertaining few weeks in cinema land. Following a very public fracas over 'Alice In Wonderland' all the major exhibitors have bent over to Disney's demands and decided that actually it would be a good idea to play the film. My company fed us some nonsense over a mutually beneficial acceptable commercial agreement being reached with Disney. What actually happened is that the investors stepped in and ordered them to settle as we were going to potentially lose out on a lot of money. My colleagues and I have become so used to our senior management lying to us that we don't believe anything they say anymore.
In other news I've had a variety of people issues crop at work including a Senior Projectionist trying to pretend his back hurts so he can't come to work. I pursued him through his GP and have gotten his permission to gain full access to his medical reports as I know he's a lying son of a bitch. The same projectionist has also led one of the younger projectionist's astray and managed to get the younger one suspended for potential gross misconduct. I'll be dealing with that kettle of very smelly fish later on today.
To make things more interesting I also recently had a Team Member come and inform me that she'd just had an abortion and if she felt a bit dizzy we weren't to worry as it was perfectly normal. We had to call an ambulance for her later on that day as she'd passed out. I then found out that it was another Team Member who had managed to get her pregnant in the first place. Kid's these days. Do any of them know what a condom is for fuck's sake?
At least Cameron didn't win an Oscar for Avatard. Possibly the most over hyped film I have ever seen. Watching it felt like having sex with a beautiful person and then finding out they're crap in bed.
Anyway, off to work and see if I have a new boss yet.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Chair Stare
Today I bought a new chair.
It was for my desk at home as my old chair had essentially kicked the bucket and gone to the great chair heaven in the sky. It is probably the best place for it. It served me well, but really started to hurt my back. I now have a much more comfortable and adjustable black leather chair which will help my posture when I'm at my desk. Very nice. And very boring to read about no doubt.
The reason I'm writing about my new chair is that it's helped me finish updating and refreshing my CV! The chair was a bastard to put together and it doesn't help when you're DIY retarded like me. However much swearing later I managed to place my new partially reclining beauty in front of my desk. And it even has a charismatic creak! (No chair is complete without a charismatic creak)
Anyway the chair got me thinking about things. First off, it's a lot more comfortable then my chair at work. Secondly, I can pretend to be an evil Bond villain and have already twice swivelled around evily glaring at the imaginery spy come to put a stop to my evil plans. I even placed one of the cats on my lap to add effect.
After I'd got over playing in my new chair, I settled down to check my emails and do some work. The chair was so comfortable I ended up working on my CV idly and didn't realise until a few hours later that I hadn't got up to stretch my spine which was usually in a lot of pain after half an hour on the old chair. Incredible! What else can I accomplish on this chair? I intend to find out.
All I can say is if you don't have a good chair in front of your desk, make sure you get one - you can pretend to be an evil villain for one thing!
It was for my desk at home as my old chair had essentially kicked the bucket and gone to the great chair heaven in the sky. It is probably the best place for it. It served me well, but really started to hurt my back. I now have a much more comfortable and adjustable black leather chair which will help my posture when I'm at my desk. Very nice. And very boring to read about no doubt.
The reason I'm writing about my new chair is that it's helped me finish updating and refreshing my CV! The chair was a bastard to put together and it doesn't help when you're DIY retarded like me. However much swearing later I managed to place my new partially reclining beauty in front of my desk. And it even has a charismatic creak! (No chair is complete without a charismatic creak)
Anyway the chair got me thinking about things. First off, it's a lot more comfortable then my chair at work. Secondly, I can pretend to be an evil Bond villain and have already twice swivelled around evily glaring at the imaginery spy come to put a stop to my evil plans. I even placed one of the cats on my lap to add effect.
After I'd got over playing in my new chair, I settled down to check my emails and do some work. The chair was so comfortable I ended up working on my CV idly and didn't realise until a few hours later that I hadn't got up to stretch my spine which was usually in a lot of pain after half an hour on the old chair. Incredible! What else can I accomplish on this chair? I intend to find out.
All I can say is if you don't have a good chair in front of your desk, make sure you get one - you can pretend to be an evil villain for one thing!
Friday, 12 February 2010
Alice in Dunderland
If you pay attention to what's going on in the world of cinema, you may have noticed news reports stating that the theatrical release of 'Alice in Wonderland' due on March 5th has been threatened by the pull out of 3 major UK cinema chains - Vue, Cineworld and Odeon.
This is mainly due to Disney being stubborn greedy bastards who want to reduce the time between the cinema and DVD release of the film. There is no other reason, and as a result they now stand to lose a big sum of money for their sins. Serves them right. I'm glad the cinemas are actually telling the house of mouse to fuck off. It's high time Mickey had his ears clipped.
I wouldn't panic about not being able to see the film though - as all 3 major exhibitors in the UK have threatened to pull the film, Disney will have no choice but to stick to the original release window of 15 weeks unless they want to lose millions of pounds at the UK Box Office.
It is funny that Disney are the only studio who keep trying to do this - they've done it twice before in recent memory with both 'Night At The Museum' and more recently 'Up'. They backed down with the release of 'Up' but stuck to their guns with 'Night At The Museum'... but only because the film had already been on general release and had made more than enough money at the Box Office.
As for my cinema; well, we'll be pissed if we can't play 'Alice in Wonderland' as it's been built into our March budget and if we don't get it I doubt our company will readjust trading figures to compensate and we will suffer. Plus I've been really looking forward to seeing the film myself.
Looks like just another fucked up day in the world of cinema.
This is mainly due to Disney being stubborn greedy bastards who want to reduce the time between the cinema and DVD release of the film. There is no other reason, and as a result they now stand to lose a big sum of money for their sins. Serves them right. I'm glad the cinemas are actually telling the house of mouse to fuck off. It's high time Mickey had his ears clipped.
I wouldn't panic about not being able to see the film though - as all 3 major exhibitors in the UK have threatened to pull the film, Disney will have no choice but to stick to the original release window of 15 weeks unless they want to lose millions of pounds at the UK Box Office.
It is funny that Disney are the only studio who keep trying to do this - they've done it twice before in recent memory with both 'Night At The Museum' and more recently 'Up'. They backed down with the release of 'Up' but stuck to their guns with 'Night At The Museum'... but only because the film had already been on general release and had made more than enough money at the Box Office.
As for my cinema; well, we'll be pissed if we can't play 'Alice in Wonderland' as it's been built into our March budget and if we don't get it I doubt our company will readjust trading figures to compensate and we will suffer. Plus I've been really looking forward to seeing the film myself.
Looks like just another fucked up day in the world of cinema.
Monday, 8 February 2010
Valentine's Day Massacre
Valentine's day.
What is it good for? Selling awful cards, sickly chocolates, disposable gifts and generally making single people miserable. Valentine's day is about selling disposable love. It's not real, it doesn't last and yet so many people buy into it. Why? Because deep down we all want to be loved.
Cinema is no exception to any of this. It wants to be loved and is willing to buy into the falseness of Valentine's day to get noticed. No stranger to capitalising on people's fragility, Hollywood has surpassed itself this year and actually made a film simply called 'Valentine's Day'. It is released this Friday two days before February 14th and you can be guaranteed the cinema will be filled with dozens if not tens of dozens of couples come to immerse themselves in the cloyness of Valentine's Day and generally piss off anyone who isn't with someone.
You may think I'm saying this because I'm bitter and twisted. 99% of the time you'd be right - I am quite bitter and twisted. But I'm also honest. I and my girlfriend despise Valentine's Day. She hates it because she sees it as another shameless gimmick designed to make people spend money. I hate it because I remember exactly how alone I felt every Valentine's Day for years. I would see the same couples who are going to come to the cinema this Friday, exchanging flowers, cards and chocolates and generally going all soppy over one another. These same couples would split up about a week to a month later. If you're feeling sick right now, don't worry - it's a normal reaction to how pathetic Valentine's Day actually is.
I am certain there are some people who think Valentine's Day is a wonderful and lovely holiday. If you are one of those people, then all the best to you. However I must remind you of one thing; if the person you want to shower with affection is so special, why wait to Valentine's Day to make them feel special? Why not do it today? And while you're at it, come to the cinema on another day when there's a better film out. I can reccommend 'Kick Ass!' which comes out in April and is guaranteed to raise a smile on the most hardened cynic.
Personally my overall assessment of February 14th is this - It's shit. So do yourself a favour - Fuck Valentine's Day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plan a surprise for my girlfriend in April. A romantic (and hopefully dirty!) weekend away. Now that's love...snoogins!
What is it good for? Selling awful cards, sickly chocolates, disposable gifts and generally making single people miserable. Valentine's day is about selling disposable love. It's not real, it doesn't last and yet so many people buy into it. Why? Because deep down we all want to be loved.
Cinema is no exception to any of this. It wants to be loved and is willing to buy into the falseness of Valentine's day to get noticed. No stranger to capitalising on people's fragility, Hollywood has surpassed itself this year and actually made a film simply called 'Valentine's Day'. It is released this Friday two days before February 14th and you can be guaranteed the cinema will be filled with dozens if not tens of dozens of couples come to immerse themselves in the cloyness of Valentine's Day and generally piss off anyone who isn't with someone.
You may think I'm saying this because I'm bitter and twisted. 99% of the time you'd be right - I am quite bitter and twisted. But I'm also honest. I and my girlfriend despise Valentine's Day. She hates it because she sees it as another shameless gimmick designed to make people spend money. I hate it because I remember exactly how alone I felt every Valentine's Day for years. I would see the same couples who are going to come to the cinema this Friday, exchanging flowers, cards and chocolates and generally going all soppy over one another. These same couples would split up about a week to a month later. If you're feeling sick right now, don't worry - it's a normal reaction to how pathetic Valentine's Day actually is.
I am certain there are some people who think Valentine's Day is a wonderful and lovely holiday. If you are one of those people, then all the best to you. However I must remind you of one thing; if the person you want to shower with affection is so special, why wait to Valentine's Day to make them feel special? Why not do it today? And while you're at it, come to the cinema on another day when there's a better film out. I can reccommend 'Kick Ass!' which comes out in April and is guaranteed to raise a smile on the most hardened cynic.
Personally my overall assessment of February 14th is this - It's shit. So do yourself a favour - Fuck Valentine's Day.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plan a surprise for my girlfriend in April. A romantic (and hopefully dirty!) weekend away. Now that's love...snoogins!
Friday, 5 February 2010
Prince of Persia, Kick Ass & several redundancies...
Well, it was our company conference yesterday. And cue much arse kissing, stroking of egos and very heavily political answers that didn't answer the questions asked. They said there would be no redundancies....despite making several Regional Manager's redundant and some Cinema Manager positions as well.
Cinema is performing well which is why no one could understand these cost cutting exercises. At this time of writing 'Avatar' has exceeded the 2 billion dollar world wide box office mark and it's just one of many films that are performaing well. So why the cuts? Well my colleagues and I had an interesting theory. The senior management team are just a bunch of lying cheating greedy cunts.
We did get to see some new film footage though and I can't wait to see Kick Ass! Unfortunately, Prince of Persia looks like a complete load of toss, but you never know. It might be good. Probably not.
The rest of the day was spent getting drunk of our collective asses and trading CVs.
Cinema is performing well which is why no one could understand these cost cutting exercises. At this time of writing 'Avatar' has exceeded the 2 billion dollar world wide box office mark and it's just one of many films that are performaing well. So why the cuts? Well my colleagues and I had an interesting theory. The senior management team are just a bunch of lying cheating greedy cunts.
We did get to see some new film footage though and I can't wait to see Kick Ass! Unfortunately, Prince of Persia looks like a complete load of toss, but you never know. It might be good. Probably not.
The rest of the day was spent getting drunk of our collective asses and trading CVs.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Facebook No More
I've bitten the bullet and done something I've been thinking about for a quite a while now - I've quit facebook.
I was beginning to get disturbed by the anount of people I was 'friends' with who I never talk to or even see. Plus there is so much private information floating around in the ether about me and my family, I thought it might be time to start reigning in a bit more control over my life.
This is item 1 on my 2010 to do list. Only a few more to go...
I was beginning to get disturbed by the anount of people I was 'friends' with who I never talk to or even see. Plus there is so much private information floating around in the ether about me and my family, I thought it might be time to start reigning in a bit more control over my life.
This is item 1 on my 2010 to do list. Only a few more to go...
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Sherlock Holmes and Dances With Smurfs...
Christmas is always a lot of fun at the cinema. Just not for the people working there.
The films that come out are usually quite entertaining and the arse end of 2009 was no exception. We had Dances with Smurfs...otherwise known as 'Avatar'. Quite a fun film but not the epic amazing piece of cinema that all the reviews would have you believe. It is an old story just set on another planet. I did fancy the hot blue alien chick though (played by a real life hotty - Zoe Saldana. If you've seen Star Trek this year, you'll know what I'm talking about). Dances With Smurfs is proof positive that CG has now managed to get to the point where you think you're watching a real person and not a series of 1s and 0s on a computer. The film is fun but could have been better without the faux Titanic musical theme rip off sung by Leona Lewis and repeated at various points throughout the film.
Then there was the all singing all dancing all masterbating masterpiece that was 'Nine' starring every single Hollywood and European star you can think of. Only watch if you're a fan of musicals. The women look hot and you can almost hear the cameraman salivating as he swoops over their bodies and up their skirts...when they're wearing them.
Finally there was 'Sherlock Holmes' which was so much fun, I went and saw it twice! Who would have thought that of a recent Guy Ritchie film? Maybe now he's no longer encased by Madonna's terrifyingly spider like legs, he can chill out and have some fun! And it comes across in this wholly entertaining 'odd couple' take on Holmes and Watson. I highly recommend that you go and see it.
And typical, the cinema chain I work for once again demonstrated their total lack of commercial sense when it comes to forecasting business, and underestimated the levels we received over the Christmas and New Year period. I would say 'morons' but that would be a moot point.
We were busy with a capital 'B'. A lot of cinemas ran out of popcorn and drinks and we had so many requests to borrow our supplies it even got to the point where the Regional Manager instructed us to send stock over to another site because they were down to 3 popcorn cartons and 1 kernel of corn. I wish I was making this up.
In any case, hear's to 2010 and all change for me.
The films that come out are usually quite entertaining and the arse end of 2009 was no exception. We had Dances with Smurfs...otherwise known as 'Avatar'. Quite a fun film but not the epic amazing piece of cinema that all the reviews would have you believe. It is an old story just set on another planet. I did fancy the hot blue alien chick though (played by a real life hotty - Zoe Saldana. If you've seen Star Trek this year, you'll know what I'm talking about). Dances With Smurfs is proof positive that CG has now managed to get to the point where you think you're watching a real person and not a series of 1s and 0s on a computer. The film is fun but could have been better without the faux Titanic musical theme rip off sung by Leona Lewis and repeated at various points throughout the film.
Then there was the all singing all dancing all masterbating masterpiece that was 'Nine' starring every single Hollywood and European star you can think of. Only watch if you're a fan of musicals. The women look hot and you can almost hear the cameraman salivating as he swoops over their bodies and up their skirts...when they're wearing them.
Finally there was 'Sherlock Holmes' which was so much fun, I went and saw it twice! Who would have thought that of a recent Guy Ritchie film? Maybe now he's no longer encased by Madonna's terrifyingly spider like legs, he can chill out and have some fun! And it comes across in this wholly entertaining 'odd couple' take on Holmes and Watson. I highly recommend that you go and see it.
And typical, the cinema chain I work for once again demonstrated their total lack of commercial sense when it comes to forecasting business, and underestimated the levels we received over the Christmas and New Year period. I would say 'morons' but that would be a moot point.
We were busy with a capital 'B'. A lot of cinemas ran out of popcorn and drinks and we had so many requests to borrow our supplies it even got to the point where the Regional Manager instructed us to send stock over to another site because they were down to 3 popcorn cartons and 1 kernel of corn. I wish I was making this up.
In any case, hear's to 2010 and all change for me.
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